I'll Be Brutal

Pull
Another One?

It's always their fault, isn't it.

Five questions about your arguments, your patterns, your red flags, and the honest reason you're doing this right now. We read your answers. Then we tell you what your friends have been too polite to say.

£1.99
Less than a glass of wine. Harder to swallow.

Results emailed within 15 mins • For entertainment purposes

Before we start

How brutal do you want this?

Your love life's about to get audited. Pick your pain threshold.

Brutal

Direct. Sharp. Funny. Like your most honest friend over coffee.

Savage

Finds the pattern you've been ignoring. Rubs your face in it.

Unhinged

Your relationship gets absolutely demolished. You asked for it.

Pick one. Avoidance is why you're here.

Question 1 of 5

Describe the last argument you had with your partner or most recent ex. What was it actually about underneath?

Not what you argued about on the surface — control, money, dishes, whatever. What was it REALLY about? The unspoken thing. The pattern. Take your time with this one. Details matter.

Leaving this blank says more than you think.

Question 2 of 5

What do you complain about most to your friends about your relationship or dating life?

The recurring rant. The thing you keep saying. Be specific — what exactly do you tell them? And have you noticed they've stopped being surprised by it?

If you can't think of anything, your friends can.

Question 3 of 5

What's a red flag you spotted early but talked yourself out of?

The moment you noticed something was off and chose to ignore it. What was the flag? And what did you tell yourself to make it okay? Be as specific as possible — this is where the pattern lives.

You remember. You've just been pretending you don't.

Question 4 of 5

Describe the relationship you actually want. Now, how far is your current situation from that?

Paint the picture first — what does it look like, feel like, what does the other person do, how do they make you feel. Then measure the gap. How far away are you? Be brutal with yourself. We're going to be brutal with you anyway.

The gap is where the truth is. Measure it.

Question 5 of 5

What's the honest reason you're doing this quiz right now?

Not "for a laugh." Not "my friend sent it to me." Why are you really here? What's going on that made you click this link and answer questions about your love life to a stranger on the internet? Say it. All of it.

This is the most important answer you'll give. Don't waste it.

Last thing

Where do we send the damage?

Your results land in your inbox within 15 minutes. Check your spelling — we're not hunting you down to deliver bad news.

We need an email. The truth needs a delivery address.

£1.99 • Results within 15 minutes • No refunds on the truth • For entertainment purposes